Happy 7th Birthday Boo!

Today has been Kasper and my partner’s birthdays.

I’ve had a really shit day. My worst day for seizures in this seizure-heavy week. Loads of guilt about being ill and ruining the day (for my partner especially) and to top it off we did a walk with my partner’s parents, our first time seeing them in a year, and one of the first things they said was “I thought she was supposed to be well trained?” about Sasha.

This was because she was running about off lead having fun. Like, seriously? Way to make me feel like utter shit, I definitely haven’t been working my arse off for the past 6 months trying to give her any semblance of confidence and show her training is fun. I really wish I hadn’t been so out of it with seizures, I would’ve loved to have ‘responded’ πŸ˜›

I was really fucking proud of her on this walk too! She was confident around new people, did THREE seizure alerts on the walk, and held focus and did good whilst we stood about, my partner opened presents etc. For a teenage gobshite and a dog who is nervous with strangers, she rocked!

So, his comment crushed me. Really upset, and really ill at the time too. Bleh. Oh look, so badly trained -_-

birthdays28

That’s his parents stood right behind Sasha here – look at her happy face!

birthdays16

Opening presents

Anyway. Kasper had a good day at least.

The day started with his gifts arriving!! They weren’t due until the end of this week, so that was cool.

We got some treats going in the food dehydrator asap, but as we weren’t expecting it we hadn’t bought meat in, so apple slices, sweet potato chews, and potato ‘crisps’ will have to do!

birthdays

Alongside a food dehydrator, he got a new Sumo puzzle feeder (topped with a frozen treat to act as a ‘plug’!)

birthdays9

birthdays13

And his final birthday gift, a new collar πŸ™‚

birthdays10

birthdays11

I wrote out a message to him πŸ˜‰

Happy birthday, Boo!

And his final birthday good-ness was an off lead walk. Lots of tearing about like a crazy thing, chasing smells, some training, and even a paddle in his favourite pond. He LOVED it! Yeah, Boo had a good birthday alright πŸ™‚

birthdays26

birthdays23

birthdays25

birthdays26

birthdays22

Very quick Tolly update!

For her walk today she went to the football field. She was sprinting about like a loon, and the cutest thing? SHE AUTO SAT WHEN SHE CAME TO ME!!

One of the earliest things I teach puppies is an auto sit – get called to me, sit. Come to me unasked, sit. Unsure of something, sit. Toller hasn’t done any training or had chance to do an auto sit in 11 long weeks, so the fact she offered this was just so darn sweet. This dog guys, this dog ❀

4 days after amputation: first walk!

Oh guys.

Toller had her first walk today, and it was amazing.

Every action, you could just see the joy. She sniffed EVERYTHING!! She was so intrigued and happy to be out in the world again and walking, it was amazing. She was sniffing, springing, playing, pulling up flowers…it was so darn cute.

She was SO HAPPY. It was truly wonderful to see πŸ™‚

Can you imagine if the first vets had agreed to amputation immediately? She would have been walking less than a week after the accident, as oppose toΒ eleven weeks after 😦 Still, at least it got done, and she’s LOVING IT!!

We were saying today, we’ve not seen her trip once since tripawd life haha!

She got to see our friend today who was over visiting Mojo, and he was *amazed* at how skilled she is walking. Next time he’s over, in about a week, we’ll do a 5 minute walk with her πŸ™‚

Anyway, this is what you’ve all been waiting for – a video of her entire walk!

Tolly the tripawd!

Hey guys we’re absolutely exhausted here so I’m gonna keep it as quick as possible.

Long time no post!

So I don’t remember where we were with Tolly when I last posted, but here’s a recap.

She hurt her paw about 10 weeks ago, when an off lead Labrador sprinted all the way across a field and ran into her, bowling her over (she was a tiny 3.2kg at the time – 3.5kg now, little fatty πŸ˜‰ ).

poorlytolly4

We got her to the vet who said she suspected a broken toe at worst and wasn’t even going to x-ray, but we said we might as well to be on the safe side. After the x-ray it turned out Tolly had broken FOUR bones in her front left paw, all the bones connecting her toes to her foot.

We were immediately pushed towards an option of an invasive surgery to rewire her bones. When I researched this (reading articles, others’ experience, and posting on a forum for amputated pets as I immediately wanted to amputate) I found there were HUGE flaws with this option, including an extremely high likelihood of further procedures (I’m talking 98%+!), complications to do with recovery, and the fact it was a very invasive procedure.

A few days after her accident we saw a second vet, who was much more positive. Amputation, which we still wanted to consider, was poo-poo’ed as a full recovery was so certain, even though a full recovery from amputation is only 4 weeks. This vet advised us not to put Toller through the surgery, and said her foot would recover perfectly fine on it’s own, and we most likely wouldn’t even be able to tell she had been injured. So we signed ourselves up for 6-8 weeks crate rest.

Toller had two splints put on in the first week or so; one fell off after four hours, one fell off after a few days, and after that the vets advised we leave her as is.

For eight weeks Toller was confined to her crate or held in our arms, the only activity she got was from there or trips to the garden strictly to go to the toilet. With each vet visit the vet complimented her recovery, saying she was doing so much better than they expected.

Toller was ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE, and nothing held her attention (not even knuckle bones), and whilst we were very concerned about the after-effects of such extended crate rest on a very young puppy, we pushed ahead because it wasn’t long to the finish line.

Around the 6 week mark we began to notice that that front left foot was very bent out of place and odd looking, but pushed it aside as the vet was so certain she was making a miraculous recovery. At 7 weeks we were advised it was ligament damage and posed no concern.

At around 8 weeks we were told Toller was fully recovered, and we were horrified.

The story had now changed to she would have hugely restricted exercise for the rest of her life, she couldn’t run, go on walks, and her foot was scarily deformed. It stuck out at a literal right angle.

KIND OF GRAPHIC PHOTOS OF DEFORMED FOOT Β below

wheelchair4

Over the next week we followed the vet’s instructions, letting her walk in the house for 30 seconds at a time, just a time or two a day. We were horrified to see that foot getting worse.

At this point we thought we were going to get a wheelchair; that way Toller could go on walks in the chair, with the injured leg strapped out the way, and walk chair-free in the house as per the vet’s instructions. We bought a cheap Β£70 front wheeled cart whilst we saved the Β£580 for a custom one.

It soon became clear that wasn’t an option; Toller’s foot was so badly injured (and not at all recovered!!) that even small amounts of exercise were making it much worse.

We began looking for a second opinion and madly scrabbling for money for an amputation, which we had wanted to do right at the bloody start.

Unfortunately a lot of vets were less than helpful, with one surgery refusing to see her and telling us to use the first surgery (that had been totally wrong about her prognosis!), and another saying they would have to “ask permission” from the previous vet.

We finally found a branch that would happily give us a second opinion; they sent off for her info and we took Tolly to an appt with them. They agreed in an instant that an amputation was the way to go.

Today was her operation day. Photos from this morning just before she headed out.

preop

Eeesh, that poor foot!!

preop1

We dropped her off, and phoned at lunch time for an update – oh, before I carry on, the vets wrote down THE WRONG LEG TO AMPUTATE!! Can you believe it?!?! Luckily the nurse checked with my partner first, although she did say they’d have questioned it anyway given how deformed her left leg was hahaha!

Lunchtime update ~ we were told she’d been a star up until time for her op, and enjoyed lots of cuddles! She’d been in theatre for 60 minutes and was just coming around now and doing really well. They wanted to keep her overnight, and would call before they closed that evening to update us again.

We were SO relieved πŸ™‚

We didn’t hear from them when they closed, so we called them on the dot, and unfortunately the first person who spoke with us was useless – she said “Yes, Toller’s fine, she’s just staying overnight with us” and then hung up the phone!!!!

But we called straight back and managed to speak with somebody else and they were brilliant πŸ™‚ They said Toller has had cuddles off every nurse that works at the surgery, and when they go into her room she gets excited and wags at them!

She’s eaten a meal and even had some test walks to start getting her used to life on three legs – she’s doing great, the only thing she struggles with is doorways and they have to carry her through those haha!

They’ve carried out a pain score on her (where they tally up how much pain a dog is in based on behaviour, body language etc to judge if they need more pain meds) and they basically couldn’t tell she was in any pain at all as she was just trying to love on them so hard!! This so typically Toller hahaha, completely loving and adorable, and such a tough little cookie πŸ™‚ ❀

So she’s staying overnight, will be checked on every 3 hours, have further test walks and pain scores, and we go pick her up in the morning. We can phone as soon as they open and see what time they’d like for her to go home at.

To say I was relieved with how the day has gone is obviously a huge understatement, and the last nurse we spoke with described my little spitfire so perfectly I was crying listening to what my Spud had been up to!!

Obviously I’m really nervous about bringing her home (Will I be okay at the sight of her stump, because it won’t be bandaged at all? Will I feel suddenly sad about it? Will she be in pain? Will she try do too much now that broken leg has gone? Will she be especially vocal or miserable? What if it gets infected? etc etc etc) but mostly I just really can’t wait to see her and want to cuddle her forever.

It’s been absolute hell since she got injured…from being terrified she was badly injured, to struggling to keep a 5-8 month old puppy in anyway happy with strict crate rest, to freaking about amputation (risk, lack of knowledge, price, finding a willing vet etc), to getting it done and now the road to actual recovery…

I’m hugely excited for her, because she’s FINALLY gonna have her life back, but I’m understandably scared too. For the physical side and the mental side – she’s missed so much socialisation and was miserable for so long there’s no saying what kind of adult dog she will be, and this is a major concern and NOT something to be brushed off lightly.

I’m concerned about fears (from other dogs and animals to cars going past, loud noises etc) and anxious behaviours, and of course the physical side too – being a tripawd obvious puts more strain on the other limbs, although thankfully her small size should mean this isn’t as big an issue.

But the main thing is her life will be so much better. We just have to take the journey one literal step at a time!

And that’s my update. Now, bed awaits…

A ‘feel better’ walk

Awful day.

Finally managed to get out with the girls early evening (Toller being carried by my partner of course). Despite it being a sunny day the walk was really enjoyable, and I only had one seizure. Sasha alerted perfectly, and we sat out the way to recover – easy!

Had a really nice time…also if this isn’t the cutest photo ever, I don’t know what is. I love my partner so much πŸ™‚

girlswalk12

My girls and my love!

girlswalk

We found a string of dead moles, which was grim. There are so many hunters in this area.

girlswalk5

Beautiful view

For anybody who hasn’t seen on IG, Toller’s vet appt was cancelled this week and pushed back until next Wednesday.

At this point I’m completely sick of our vets. From them constantly getting her name wrong and never finding her on the system (they have her registered as ‘Polly’, we’ve told them half a dozen times to change it…) to the disgraceful way they treated Toller and all the misinformation and lack of information at the time of her accident, I’m done.

Why am I paying these guys so much to look at her, when they’re getting everything wrong, don’t have a clue on her prognosis, and can’t even get her name right?! Hmmm…

Another day of sunshine

Enjoyed a walk with Kasper and Sasha yesterday, with not one but TWO seizure alerts from Sasha πŸ™‚

She really is doing phenomenally with alerts atm, and also alerted almost FIVE MINUTES before a seizure in the house yesterday…I felt really off at the time so assumed she was alerting to that or maybe a little seizure, then about 4.5 minutes after her initial alert I had a huge seizure out of nowhere!

Also Kasper, the world’s grumpiest dog, is super lenient with Sasha.

Idk where this came from, because he never used to be, and he has NEVER accepted some of the things he lets Sasha do from other dogs, not even Zoey, and Sasha is waaay past her ‘puppy license’ now at 8 months old and twice the size of Kasper…

But whatever the reason he lets her barge over to things he’s sniffing without telling her to bugger off, and he takes treats with zero anxiety even if his face is right next to hers. Even if she moves towards his treat. It’s actually pretty rare for him to snark at her, which for Kasper is a miracle!

And of course Sasha thinks he’s the best big bro ever πŸ™‚

sunwalks

No that’s fine Sasha, you stop to sniff this rock in a field with the horse that charges people and bit me a few years ago πŸ˜„

Thankfully it seems much better behaved since they built it a stable, and now spends most it’s time in there even as people walk through.

sunwalks1

Kasper is an insane water dog (as long as it’s not in the paddling pool I got him for his 5th birthday, which he tolerates but doesn’t really like πŸ˜„ ) whereas Sasha completely missed the memo that Poodles are supposed to be water dogs, and thinks her brother’s insane when he dives in water!!

Cows with the sea behind them. Very different from manatees, which are true sea cows πŸ˜„

sunwalks5

And to show quite how much bigger Sasha is than Kasper!

Chillaxing.

We are fostering Charley searching for a permanent home for him – preferably one where there are no other pets, a huge garden, and someone with experience of Collies(/crosses) and PR training.

Whilst he fit in very well until Toller’s accident, there is no way we can keep everyone happy whilst keeping Toller separate from everyone, Charley separate from Kasper, and without walking Charley. I just can’t do it. I’ve tried and tried, and I can’t.

I’m by no means giving up on my dream of a new family member, I just have new requirements.

The dog MUST be a small dog – not only does this decrease danger of Tolly being re-injured, but the vet has said she won’t be able to roughhouse with a bigger dog, and it would be nice for her to have a playmate…otherwise the only interaction she’s gonna get is sniffing Sasha’s face.

Something with enough energy for big hikes is needed, a bit of carrying is fine, but breeds such as Frenchies are obviously out!!Β And a breed without an overly sensitive temperament. Terriers are a good fit for us.

I’m also not looking at rescue dogs, or at least not rescue dogs older than 10-12 weeks. As rescue centres won’t adopt dogs to us (due to not working, having a decent garden, or 6ft fencing) we have to rely on rehoming from the owners, and THEY JUST LIE!! This results in us having a dog that is not at all acceptable for our family, and it isn’t fair on the dog, our dogs, or us.

I’m happy with anything Terriery. I’m not sure if a Border would be too sad, so I’m looking more at JRT, because I have a lot of experience with them and love their spunky energy and the fact they’re not sensitive at all. We also need a female puppy, because Kasper accepts any female puppy.

I’d love a puppy sometime this summer / autumn for socialisation reasons, but will wait for the right breeder.

If I get any hate for any of this, comments will deleted and blocked. If you don’t agree with breeder pups, unfollow me. My life, my decisions.

Alert on cam & adorable photos

Sasha has done an alert on a walk every day for the last three days, and yesterday she did at least two! (too foggy to remember any more)

Her alerting out the house is super rare, normally we only get one outdoor alert a week or two, so she’s rocking it!! I wondered if it’s because my seizures are so damn bad that they’re more obvious to her, but some of her alerts have been bloody perfectly timed – one, she alerted, I sat down, and within 30 seconds I was having a seizure.

Yesterday we managed to catch her doing an alert on cam! We were trying to take photos, and she alerted, so my partner kept snapping!!

Step 1: nose nudge

I did teach her to paw as a seizure alert (as I wanted it to be more obvious when I was walking) but because she’s such a big oaf, and she pawed when I was sitting too, it was too damn dangerous and I got tired of her claws raking my face πŸ˜„

Step 2: Serious face until I acknowledge the alert

alert1

Step 3: Praise and treats

Step 4: Get to somewhere safe and out the way, or if I’m stuck somewhere busy like town just drop to the floor and look weird!! Wait for seizure, then wait until better recovered after seizure.

Really cool to have photos of the process, I’m super proud of Sasha…what an awesome dog she is, and a great helper πŸ™‚

Next – Toller walked in the house for the first time yesterday!! It was only about 10 steps before we picked her up, but what a landmark in her recovery!

Can you stand the cuteness? πŸ™‚

sofriggingcute

Here she is wearing Pixie’s jacket…Pix was so damn small, and yet the jacket still swamps Toller πŸ˜„

Big dope!

It’s his birthday next month so I’ve been searching for the perfect edible gifts for him and a new police style lead too (multiple D clips). I think I’ve found ‘the one’, can’t wait to share photos once it arrives πŸ™‚

Oh god look at his expression ❀ ❀ ❀

I’ve been browsing amazing collars, harnesses and leads on etsy (because it’s one of the few tasks I can do without having to feel bad for not remembering it, eg. reading!!) and my partner felt so sorry for me with how crappy I’ve been doing he said I could buy a nice collar for Sasha πŸ™‚

So in my more lucid moments I browsed hundreds and hundreds of collars, and chose an amazing one for Sasha! We chose a 2 inch wide one, so you’ll even be able to see it with all her Poodle fluff!!

And yesterday we had 1kg of beef chews arrive! These were Β£8 off ebay, and if we’d bought them from an online pet shop, it would have been Β£6 for 300g!!!

SO MUCH LIVER!!!

The dogs absolutely love it. It doesn’t last the bigger three too long, but they go crazy for it, AND you can snap it into smaller pieces as training rewards too!

*splutter laughs* Sasha’s face!!

An angry rant

Today had a really nice few hours where we sat in the garden and had such a nice time as a family, but there have been huge periods of time lost due to seizures and seizure rage.

I just woke up from a 2.5 hour nap, because apparently my body is useless atm and needs a 2.5 hour nap every day, and the seizure rage and seizures have returned.

I can’t fucking stand these seizures.

My worst auras result in extreme rage, where I want to harm those I love or at least lash out at them verbally, or where all of a sudden I just feel completely hopeless, depressed and done with everything. How can a seizure immediately switch from me doing fine, to wanting to scream at my partner or kill myself?!

These feelings seem organic to me, even if me and my partner both know they are entirely caused by incoming seizures, it doesn’t help at all because they FEEL real and are inside me.

Another thing I hate is that before, during, or even after some seizures, I feel intensely hungry. It doesn’t matter if I ate a big meal just half an hour ago, I feel STARVING!! This is extremely fucking depressing, because either I eat when I don’t really need to, and obviously this will affect my weight as it happens a few times a day, or I have to try and ignore a hunger so strong it reduces me to frustrated tears.

Again, I know it’s not a ‘real’ hunger, but it doesn’t help in the slightest.

My plan for this blog was to post some beautiful photos of Charley and Sasha in the garden, taken today. But I’m too wound up and frustrated for that, so I’ve moaned and whined instead.

I. hate. seizures -__-

If you made it through this, enjoy a video of Toller deciding she loves red pepper…yesterday she snubbed dog treats, kibble, hot dog and a knuckle bone, but absolutely loved red pepper πŸ™‚