2 days after amputation

Toller is still doing great ๐Ÿ™‚

Her pain meds make her very sleepy, so we have to adjust how long she is out her crate. Usually it’s 20-40 minutes. Our vets seem to be really strict about crate rest after amputation (some places are much more lenient) so for now at least we’re following their advice.

This means Tolly’s still on crate rest at least until her check up on Monday. Eventually she’ll be spending time in the 42 inch crate we’ve set up as her play pen, and the next step is spending more time free in the house. At some point we’ll begin special exercises to strengthen her core muscles, and building her up to walks ๐Ÿ™‚

Spud’s gonna be meeting my parents tomorrow. That will be nice for her ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s Boo’s birthday in a few days, he’s going to be seven! Unfortunately his main birthday gift won’t arrive until a few days after (we forgot to order it with all the Tolly stuff, ooops!). He’s getting a food dehydrator so we can make all sorts of treats and chews for him, he’ll LOVE that!

We did order some new puzzle feeders which will arrive on his birthday though, so at least he has something.

Kasper’s had less walk as we prepped for Toller’s surgery. Once her amputation was done we got back into the swing of it, and he was SO HAPPY to have his walks!!

He might be seven, but he can still go as far as Sasha, and he SPRINTS everywhere vs her leisurely pace. He has crazy stamina and walking him is always such a joy.

Smiles all round ๐Ÿ™‚

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And I’m going to do a training post/update for Sasha at some point. For now here are some photos from a very wet walk today!

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And whilst we’re talking about wet dogs…check out Miss Sashie splashing through the sea on a hike the other day!!

Picking ourselves back up!

Admittedly we’ve had an AWFUL week (two weeks?) so yes, I broke when we found out Toller’s leg wasn’t as healed as we had hoped for.

BUT, I’m picking myself back up, my partner has been wodnerfully supportive, we have a plan and I think we can make it work ๐Ÿ™‚

Things are improving. I’m tired and in physical pain, and mentally still a little fragile, but I haven’t cried today…which is a huge frickin’ achievement hahaha!!

So yes. We’re waiting on the basic ยฃ70 wheelchair to arrive (2-5th May) and I’m honestly so excited! Some of the reviews said the chest straps dug into their dog, so we will be padding those, and that it’s very cheaply made and won’t last long…but we’re aware of that. It’s hopefully just a temporary measure whilst we save and raise money for a custom chair, which we could get months down the line ๐Ÿ™‚

Her fund jar!!

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Please check out her go fund me here!

We spoke with the head nurse of another surgery today, who agreed a wheelchair was a good way to go and that amputation should have been offered from the start. She was really lovely and reassuring, and we chatted to her for a good 20 minutes ^_^

Anywho. Pics of everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

Kasper played PROPERLY with Sasha for the first time yesterday. As in fluid movements, play bows and chase. It was lovely!

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Puppy dog eyes!

Unfortunately in less than two minutes he’d gotten overly excited, which resulted in over-aggressive play and attempted humping. Immediate time out for Boo with a frozen apple puzzle feeder!

This apple was stuffed with peanut butter, wet dog food, and coconut oil ๐Ÿ™‚

Speaking of frozen treats, ice cube treats are SO EASY to do!! And our three go barmy for them, I actually don’t know who loves them more…and they’re a perfect crate treat for Toller too! They come highly recommended from our pups and are so easy to make.

There are three varieties here: coconut oil, salmon oil and peanut butter, & salmon oil and wet dog food.

Sasha walk

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Tired pupper ๐Ÿ™‚ You can see a little of my dog gear wall behind her too haha!

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Spudder playing with loo roll ๐Ÿ™‚

Happy-ish days!

Tolly’s getting a wheelchair

So I’ve been crying non-stop these past few days. I’m hugely pissed at the vets, my heart is broken for Toller, and I knew that after the costs of her treatment thus far, we couldn’t afford ยฃ1500-2500 to amputate her leg.

So it was time to think up an alternative to improve her life.

And we discovered doggy wheelchairs!

For now we have ordered an extremely basic, standard (eg. not custom fit) front-wheeled cart that cost ยฃ70, and looks like this:

We’ll be trying that out whilst we wait to sort something for a custom cart. It’s due to arrive early next month.

Custom wheelchairs are incredibly expensive. We’re looking at ยฃ300-400 once we factor in custom builds and postage, especially as the one I keep getting directed to is based in America! If anyone wants to share or donate to Toller’s Go Fund Me, please do ๐Ÿ™‚

Help get Tolly walking and wheeling

Why a wheelchair?

So basically where the vet has left us now, according to them, Tolly is fully healed. They don’t even want to see her again unless “we’re concerned”…uh yeah, after seeing her walk yesterday I’m fucking concerned!!!!!

What happened to her making a full recovery and the injury not even being visible?! What happened to her being able to go on walks like a normal dog?? Now you’re saying that’s not going to happen?!

At this point Spud has enduredย eight weeks of crate rest, and guys that is just bullshit ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

She’s a completely different dog to before the accident; she’s miserable, she gets enjoyment from so little, and she’s anxious. It’s BULLSHIT. I’m so annoyed because Iย wanted to amputate that leg, but the vets persuaded me not to, they said it’d be fine…and it’s not.

With a wheelchair, she will be able to BE A DOG. She can run and exploreย immediately, no rehab, no worries about making her leg worse…the misery of crate rest will be over, and it’ll be SUCH an improvement on the vets proposed life of carrying and such limited walking.

I know she could have been happy as a tripawd, but with a wheelchair she can be a dog RIGHT NOW. No more rest, no more procedures. So that’s the way we’re going.

I’m exhausted and so stressed by all this, but I feel like we might have found a way to make my baby girl happy. Fingers crossed…

A day of tears

Yesterday was…fun -_-

It was the hardest day of this year so far, easy. Shitty things have been happening anyway and my mh has taken a dive this past week, but more than that was seeing Tolly walk for the first time.

I hadn’t seen her walk since before the accident, and all I’d been told was she was doing ‘great’. I saw her walk inside yesterday and her foot just looks AWFUL.

It’s twisted facing completely the wrong direction, the leg’s at a weird angle…it’s just heartbreaking and I immediately burst into tears. I was crying pretty much non-stop for the rest of the day, I’m talking huge floods of tears and just feeling hopeless.

I literally can’t be around Toller when she’s walking, I get hugely upset and then she gets upset. I need a few days to recover justย being with her, because when I see her atm it makes me teary because I remember her foot and think of how she was before and I just cry and cry and cry.

The guilt is tearing me up and then I feel like shit because when I start getting sad she just looks so confused, poor little love.

I have a lovely little ‘feel like shit’ list atm.

  • Toller’s foot
  • Overwhelming guilt for my bf (this started due to the things I say when I’m seizurey, but spred to pretty much everything – it’s at the point now where when we’re cuddling and happy together, I get tearful, guilty and sad)
  • Feeling like / stressing that I don’t want to be with my bf and our relationship has run it’s course (due to overwhelming guilt and seizure rage)
  • Seizures and everything they bring; stress, tiredness, feeling physically illย etc
  • HUGE health fears that reduce me to tearsย on a daily basis
  • Depressive episode (thus making above points feel even worse) – thanks for choosing now to raise your ugly head, bipolar

This week has been rough in general, but yesterday took the cake.

-sigh- Oh well, here are some photos of little Puddy one enjoying seconds of her dinner yesterday.

Tolly update, crate rest is over!

Keeping it short because I’ve been horribly ill from the moment I got up today.

Toller finally had her vet appt this afternoon and we got the best news ever, crate rest is over!

The vet said that Toller has recovered faster than any of them could have anticipated, and even from her vet appt a few weeks ago Toller has made more progress than expected. The vet said that Toller can now be put on the ground in the house for several minute bursts, then held for a while, and put down again.

Obviously she’s not to run madly or jump on and off furniture, but this will be huge for her ๐Ÿ™‚

It goes without saying we are very happy. Can’t wait until I’m well enough to play and interact with her on the floor.

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Oh and here is a cute video from yesterday, I think…we discovered she loves the spray bottle!!

All the dog walks!

Took Sasha on a HUGE hike yesterday, to a route she’d never been to before.

Then we took Kasper for a walk up through town, and today the girls had aย massive hike in all sorts of places.

Toller is a completely changed dog to the one before crate rest, and it’s soul destroying…it honestly breaks my heart. I know she will cheer up a lot once crate rest is over, but she’ll never be the dog she once was / could have been…we missed too much when she was so young, and it’s nobody’s fault, it’s just really sad ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I’m trying so hard to do things that interest her or make her happy, and I’m just getting more and more depressed at seeing what a broken little dog she is *sigh*

Anyway.

Sasha’s huge hike yesterday.

A pheasant flew squawking across this field, so Sasha took off after it, incredulous. Here you can see her checking in and leaving when asked.

My partner went into a shop so me and Kasper went and sat in the town square. I can’t go into any shops as the lights trigger seizures within minutes. That basically means wherever we go we might as well take one of our dogs, as then I have company waiting outside!!

With no prompting at all, and with zero excitement, Kasper settled between my feet as we waited at the square, and just watched the world go by. I was so proud ๐Ÿ˜€

I wish I could be so happy out in the world!

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And with the girls today we walked through town, along the canal, through the farm fields, and back down through town. It was a huge walk, we were out almost two hours, and the girls got to observe lots of people, dogs, kids etc.

Sasha got to say hi to a dog, and Spudder got to say hi to a person. Toller was at least engaged and interested in what was going on around her, if not happy.

That coat was Pixie’s and is huge on Tolly haha! I’m missing Pixie an incredible amount at the moment, it’s like a gaping hole inside me. I think it’s come on so strong because I’m missing Tolly so much too *sigh*

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We also put Toller down on some grass for about 10 seconds!

Seeing as the vet has said we can start putting her down for small bursts of time in the house, we figured on a walk made sense as a toilet break and would be more interesting. My heart broke for her!

Also, this face โค

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I’ve had a bad few days for seizures. Last night we had a friend round to watch a live event on TV, and had been looking forward to it for weeks…within half an hour I started having seizures and feeling awful, and had to just go hide in a dark room with Kasper for several hours *sigh*

Then today, we have new next door neighbours, and I was having a seizure right outside the front of our house, with Sasha’s lead in my hands. My partner had Tolly, so he came and got Sasha and took them both inside and behind a barrier, but couldn’t do much to help me so I was just sat blanked out on the wall whilst our neighbours walked within two feet of me and probably thought I was such a rude knob ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Good training, good news!

 

Good news first!

Toller had a vet appt today with the good vet, just to check how her foot is recovering. The vet was thrilled with her progress and said Tolly is recovering faster than any of the vet staff anticipated ๐Ÿ˜€

Toller was walking around the exam room for about a minute so the vet could observe her limp (or lack of one!) and the vet was really impressed. She even said that within the next week we can start letting Toller walk a little in the house ^__^

We also got to ask about Toller’s wonky foot, which the vet said is not a concern. She said at worst it’s a little bit of ligament damage, which will just mean her foot is a little squiffy and the nails on that paw may need more care.

So yes, AWESOME NEWS!!

My little champ โค

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And some boy training videos, mostly Kasper.

Here’s Charley’s. I started teaching him to tidy away his toys haha ๐Ÿ™‚

Kasper rocking leave it

Kasper playing dead ๐Ÿ˜„

Kasper doing the initial part of the trick “say your prayers” (second part would be lowering his head)

Leg weaves (which he LOVES!!)

And a final leave it

I had more to say, but my head is a ball of seizurey cotton wool and I won’t make sense. So I’ll leave it here ๐Ÿ™‚