Dear GP

This is for the GP who saw me earlier this week.

This is for the GP who didn’t listen to anything I said and  had no interest in treating me with compassion. This is for the GP who was rude, dismissive and said

“But I don’t understand, how do these ‘seizures’ even affect you?”

and, when my partner was saying how I couldn’t cope with dog walks on a bad seizure day,

“But they don’t affect you on a dog walk, how would having a staring spell affect a dog walk?”

Okay, fine. Here it is.

1) I lose hours at a time, sometimes I lose entire days. It’s 6pm now, it’s dark outside. I don’t remember any of today.

2) When I have a seizure I can’t control myself or react to anything. I have burnt myself by spilling hot drinks that I was holding, I’ve fallen over and cut my mouth, a dog’s run into me and banged my face etc.

3) I feel AWFUL. Before the seizure I battle memory loss, spacing out, nausea, migraines and seizure rage (intense, off-the-chart anger). After the seizure I feel drained, physically exhausted, like I’m going to puke, and am left with a debilitating migraine.

4) In clusters of seizures I am lost for hours. I forget what I’m doing, I don’t know what I’m saying…if I was cooking when it started I won’t know, which is extremely dangerous. If I’m outside, I’ll get lost.

I can’t cook anymore, because I could easily set the house on fear. I can’t shower alone, because I could fall. I can’t watch certain TV shows or use flash on a camera or walk much in the dark.

These are not “just staring spells”.

On dog walks if I have seizures I could lose my dogs – how am I supposed to watch over them and call them to me if I’m having a seizure?!

They could get attacked by another dog, and I wouldn’t react. A dog could attack me, knock me over, I could fall…I’ve had seizures on walks before where, if my partner hadn’t been there to physically grab me, I’d have fallen into the road in front of cars!

The GP also said she didn’t understand why I had made this appt…because I’ve started having seizures and am scared?! Because my life has changed forever and I was so scared I was dying?!

I am absolutely furious at how little understanding that GP showed. My partner is disgusted with her treatment and wants to log a complaint.

Oh also, you wanna hear something funny?? According to NICE guidelines, an adult who has started having unexplained seizures (of any type) should be seen by a seizure specialist ‘urgently’, which is classed as within two weeks…not quite the 9-12 months the GP said then XD

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8 thoughts on “Dear GP

    • Thank you 🙂 I honestly don’t think they’d even bother to read it. My partner’s going to phone up some seizure info lines today and talk to them…I’m fairly happy to keep trying with CBD and see what happens, I want to get a higher quality one in as I’m on a high dose of my current one, but it has a low percentage as it was cheap.

  1. I’m sorry you are going through so much crap. I’ve been away from emails for awhile so I’m just getting caught up. I’m glad you have some good in your life in your partner and furbabies. They will help you get through the crap. Try to have some hope for the future. Ill continue to send good thoughts your way.

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